Cooties
by Lord Cynic
Summary: Cooties: A childhood 'disease' that really makes no sense. Sort of a dualending oneshot. Filled with fluff enough to suffocate a sheep.


**Mashu: **"I have more Naruto ideas after this, but Cynic says he'll lock me in a room fulled with nasty fanfics if I don't stop at this one for at least a month."

**Cynic: **"Although, all things considering, we only write _anything_ once a month. So you shouldn't complain. In the meantime, I really need to get back into the swing of things... I've gotten rusty."

**Mashu: **"Um... there may be OOC moments during this. I don't even remember what I did when I was eight, so the behaviour may be a bit off. If you've read the summary, this _is_ sort of a two-part oneshot. It depends on the ending you like... You'll see."

* * *

**Mashu: **"We don't own anything. Oh, and is there a sort of official statement as to Hinata's hair colour? I'm very convinced it's indigo but I've gotten in arguments with people saying it's just blue. I'm getting confused and it's annoying me."

* * *

_**Cooties**_

**Cooties _(koo'-tees) _**_noun_

A childhood 'disease' that is often also referred to as 'boy germs' or 'girl germs'. When a child is of age to tell the difference between his/her and the other gender, he/she will assume the opposite gender has this 'disease' and stay with his/her own. When the time comes that they understand relationships, 'cooties' will have evolved into something else.

_Excerpt from Lord Cynic's Fictionary _**(1)**

* * *

Eight-year old **(2)** Hyuuga Hinata sat by her lonesome in the sandpit in the playground. Her minder for the day, a rather severe-looking member of the branch Hyuuga family, made it a point to leave her alone. Instead, the 40-something old woman sneered as she watched the other 'little brats' disdainfully, ignoring her charge. Consequently, little Hinata was left to play in solitude as she worked gradually on a simple-looking sandcastle. 

The small girl was proud of her work, because in her mind it showed that she could accomplish something without help. She was at the age where her strict father was consistently pushing the expectations of a Hyuuga heiress upon her. Therefore, she was forced to toughen up and act 'like a real Hyuuga', something the frail Hinata was hesitant to do. But since she was the heiress, she had to learn or face the consequences. Even so, she preferred to take small, dainty steps through life, rather than the longer, wide strides that were expected of her.

The sandcastle she had just built was an example. It was not large by any standards. It was half her size, and while intricately designed for someone her age (it even had a 'moat', and twin towers), not 'Hyuuga'-level impressive. Nonetheless, it had been very carefully constructed, and Hinata took pride in it. She had a slight inferiority complex about her petite stature (at _eight_ years of age). Despite her lack of confidence, however, she possessed the hope that good things would come from small packages.

After she put the finishing touches on the sandcastle (some pretty pebbles for doors and windows), she smiled at the result of her hard work. It was a small smile, just an upward curve of the lips, but the simple change in her expression lit up her usually downcast lavender eyes. As tragic as it sounded, she knew that, in the absence of her father and the Hyuuga elders, she was temporarily free of verbal criticism and their cold, disapproving eyes. Her supervisor didn't count (she didn't know where the woman had disappeared to, for that matter), but it should also be noted that neglect could potentially be just as, if not more damaging than outright contempt. To receive either from one's own family was depressing – to receive both was devastating.

"Hey, hey! What's this?"

Hinata looked up to see two smirking, older boys **(3)** staring at her sandcastle. One was lanky and had black hair and brown eyes; the other was slightly stocky and had white hair with silver streaks and grey eyes. Even at a young age, Hinata could sense the unpleasant aura they were emitting. Hesitantly, she tried to speak. However, her voice barely came out in a whisper.

"I… I… I m-made… this…"

The black-haired boy snorted in disgust, causing his friend to snicker at his reaction to Hinata's almost-inaudible words. Hinata shrank further back, terrified out of her wits. Mentally, she wondered why her minder wasn't coming to help. But then, she thought gloomily, unless she was being physically attacked, the branch family remember wouldn't think she was worth the trouble. Such a depressing thought made her tear up, thus provoking the boys.

"Aww, you gonna cry?"

"Crybaby!"

"Yeah, crybaby!"

Hinata's already fragile state of mind was further deteriorating from the verbal abuse. She was unable to do anything but sit and sob, wondering (yet unable to hope) why no one was helping her.

"Let's kick down her crappy castle!"

"Wait, it might have cooties!"

"Oh, that's right! Eww!"

Through her tears, Hinata vaguely wondered what cooties were. Was it something to do with being a Hyuuga? Was that also why other children avoided her?

"Well, it'll be worth it, even if we do get girl germs."

Oh. Wait, that didn't make her feel better at all.

"Yeah, you're right!"

Suddenly, just as the boys' feet rose to crush Hinata's pride and joy, a high-pitched voice rang through the playground. Hinata vaguely heard the hurried scrambles of other children running out of the playground (there were only about three others besides her and the bullies), but concentrated on who had spoken.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing, you poopheads?"

Hinata's head slowly rose to meet the source of the voice, and she dried her damp lavender eyes. When she opened them again, she blushed at whom she saw.

It was another boy, one she'd only seen once before. He had short but wild and spiky blonde hair and the most beautiful blue she'd ever seen. There were also three whisker marks on each side of his face, giving him a rather feral appearance helped by the dust and dirt covering his bizarrely orange clothes. The only other time Hinata had seen him, he had been racing through the streets, laughing maniacally as at least half a dozen ANBU or Jounin followed in pursuit. Apparently, he had stolen dozens of women's undergarments and draped them over the shops' windows, in peak market hour. To this day, no one had figured out how he'd done it. Or no one wanted to – it was that embarrassing.

This time, however, his appearance contrasted greatly with that day. His bright blue eyes, which had been shining so merrily back then, were narrowed and burning with rage. His mouth, previous wide with raucous laughter, was contorted in a scowl. Even his whisker marks looked slightly more threatening than usual. Hinata almost gasped at the pure anger he was showing to the other boys.

The dark-haired boy only sneered.

"Well, if it isn't the Uzumaki brat. This is none of your business you little pest, so scram and run back to your parents. Oh, that's right! You're an orphan, _aren't you_?"

For a split second, Hinata thought she saw a glimpse of utmost sorrow in the blonde boy's eyes. She was too young to understand, but her heart almost broke at the brief despairing expression. When she blinked, however, it was replaced with a look of fierce determination. Eight-year old Hinata felt herself overcome with awe.

Then the other bully spoke up.

"Yeah! What do you care? She has cooties!"

That word again. Hinata felt the fog of depression wash over her again. Yes, she had 'girl germs'. Why trouble anyone over that?

"Coo… ties? What the hell is that?" Hinata's head snapped up, and she felt herself blush. It seemed that the blonde boy was utterly confused, judging by his furrowed brows, squinted eyes and idle scratching of his left whisker marks. It was so… so… so cute!

"Whatever! I'm gonna be the Hokage one day! And as the next Hokage, I have to pro… pra… pre…" It was amusing to see him trail off uncertainly, as if he forgot what he wanted to say. Hinata couldn't help but smile. "I have to save my people from poopheads like you!"

Hinata was overwhelmed with warm at such a sincere and honest statement, even if his choice of words was rather… dirty (in the _non_-perverted way). She knew he meant the entire village when he said "save my people", but she couldn't help but feel warm at the thought of him rescuing her from bad people. Just like those fairytales she listened to, when her mother was alive and well. **(4)**

Her blonde prince…

Maybe she could be his –

"Oh yeah?" the white-and-silver-haired boy drawled, interrupted her thoughts. "Think you can take us both on?"

"Hell yeah!" To Hinata's horror, it really did look like it would turn into a fight. Her 'prince' (she blushed once more) fell into a battle stance that looked quite comical, even with the scowl on his face. "I'll kill your butts!"

"We'll beat you to a -" Suddenly, both the bullies stopped, and their mouths fell open in fear. Hinata didn't know why their expressions changed so rapidly. On the other hand, she was relieved no one would be hurt.

"Ah, who cares anyway," the black-haired boy muttered, before he and his friend turned around and stomped off.

Hinata watched her rescuer's mouth gape slightly in surprise, before it widened in a grin of glee and satisfaction.

"Yeah!" the boy cheered. "Respect the next Hokage! Hahahahaha!"

"That's nice, Naruto-kun" an kind elderly voice said behind him. Both children jumped in shock. "You still have to beat me, remember?"

Hinata had not noticed the Sandaime before. If she thought about it, however, she would've realised that the mighty man's presence had scared off her bullies. 'Naruto-kun', she supposed (now her prince had a name) must not have known either.

"Ojiisan!" Naruto-kun cried out happily, engulfing the Hokage in a glomp. Hinata paled, thinking of the punishments she'd receive for referring to him in such an informal fashion. However, the wizened village leader only laughed.

"So, Naruto-kun," he said, "what have you been up to?"

"Doing your job!" came the instant reply. Hinata was astonished (and a little horrified) by the sheer bluntness of Naruto-kun's response to the Hokage. "There were these two guys, and they were being mean to… to…" Hinata jumped blushed and tilted her head down when he suddenly pointed at her. "They were being mean to her! I don't like when people are mean for no reason, so I told them to stop. Then they said she had… um… hey, Ojiisan, what are 'cooties'? A type of candy? Is that why they were picking on her?"

The Hokage chuckled again and both children looked on in confusion.

"I'll tell you later," was all he said about it. "Let me guess, you told them you'd be the next Hokage and save your people from people like them?"

"Yeah!" Naruto-kun beamed to Hinata's pleasure. She was fast beginning to love that boyish, innocent smile of his. "How did you know, Ojiisan?"

"Oh, just a hunch." The Sandaime smiled mysteriously. "Well, Naruto-kun, I believe it's time you and the little lady went home." He looked around with a slight frown on his face. "Since Hinata-san's minder isn't here, I'll escort her back to the Hyuuga home."

"Huh? Hyuuga?" Naruto-kun's eyes squinted as he focussed on the girl. She instinctively averted her gaze. "You're lying, Ojiisan! She can't be one of them!"

Hinata felt herself getting depressed again. Even Naruto-kun didn't think she could be a Hyuuga. Was she that bad?

"Oh? And why not?" the Hokage asked, smiling slightly as if he knew something Hinata didn't.

"Well," Naruto-kun began slowly, "when I see one of them, they usually tell me to go away or die." "Or die?" Hinata was horrified. "She hasn't told me off yet!" Naruto-kun added, somewhat proudly. "Also, also, their eyes are white and weird and scary and kind of ugly." Despite the fear that she felt if any of her family was to hear that (especially Neji-nii-san), when he grinned at her, her gaze fell to the sand with a flush. "Her eyes are pretty!" he blurted out, intensifying her reddening complexion. "I see purple and I like it!"

"Is that so?" the Hokage commented in a tone Hinata couldn't understand. Not that she wanted to, she felt like her face was on fire.

Naruto, on the other hand, was blissfully ignorant. He would remain so for years to come.

"Uh huh! That so!"

Hinata poked her fingers together, a habit she would possess for years to come. She wondered if Naruto-kun knew what he was saying.

"Well, nevertheless, Naruto-kun, I'm sure her family would like her home." If Naruto-kun was disappointed, Hinata was crestfallen. The boy, however, was always quick to voice his thoughts.

"That sucks!"

"I'm sure you'll see each other again," the Hokage reassured the both of them. "Hinata-san, I'll take you home."

"O-Oh… o-okay." Reluctant to leave, Hinata accepted the Hokage's hand and he pulled her up. She looked at Naruto-kun, blushed and stammered. "See… see you later… um… um…"

"Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Y-Yes… um… N-Naruto-kun."

"See ya later, Hinata! Ojiisan, don't forget to tell me what cooties are!"

"Yes, yes. I promise."

Hinata followed the Hokage back to the Hyuuga mansion, her thoughts mainly consisting of "Her eyes are pretty! I see purple and I like it!"

The sandcastle stayed behind in all its glory. If anyone were to take a closer look, however, they would've seen three stripes on each of the two towers.

_**Primary end**_

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**Mashu: **"Okay. If you're satisfied with how that ended, stop there. If you want to continue, be prepared for a ton of fluff. It may/will seem OOC (or be completely full of it up the ying yang), but I couldn't help myself. Um… so beware."

* * *

Sixteen-year old Hyuuga Hinata smiled as she walked through Konoha. It was a lovely day: the sun was shining, there was no immediate danger, her family was cutting her some slack (yes, they were still buttholes), and she was on her way to a secret rendezvous. The latter made her blush, and her smile widened at the thought of whom she was meeting. She discreetly quickened her pace; shy excitement coursing through her veins. 

In her opinion, it was far too long before she reached her destination: an old playground she was very familiar with. To add to the nostalgia factor, and her glowing complexion, was her boyfriend of two months sitting in the sandpit. He was grinning to himself while building an (admittedly) average-looking sandcastle. Upon seeing Hinata, however, his dazzling blue eyes sparkled and his grin threatened to physically stretch his face, which was still adorned with the same old whisker marks he always had. The sight of Uzumaki Naruto playing with sand like a little child was so adorable, Hinata's mind's eye conjured up a Chibi Naruto and hugged him tightly.

When he rose to his feet and literally bounced towards her, it took all of her self-control to keep from jumping him when he was in reach. Instead, she let him glomp her and relished his touch as he affectionately rubbed his whiskered cheeks against hers. Oh, she really wanted to melt in his arms right then and there.

In his lean, tanned, muscular arms… just like at his Chuunin celebration, when her feelings no longer went unrequited. When she told him of her feelings at the beginning of the exams, it had taken him a while to get used to it. However, as the exam progressed, they kept spending time together, as much as they could (he wanted to know if her feelings were genuine, and she couldn't blame him). Eventually, she was able to get through to him, and both were elated when he told her the good news amongst all his friends and colleagues. Even if his booming confession was terribly embarrassing. Hinata was grateful Neji's team had to depart for a mission, or she would've been faced with a boyfriend in a full-body cast for at least a month.

_Sigh…_

"Hina-chan?" She was propelled back into the present by his voice, which had deepened through the effects of puberty. The rumble of his tone was so hypnotising to listen to that she almost fell asleep. Despite that, she couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy from the pet name he used for her. It became a desirable habit two days into their official, newfound relationship, much like her calling him Naru-kun. She gazed up at him, meeting his eager grin with a content smile surrounded by a steady blush. She'd wanted to find a way to get rid of it, but one "But you look really cute!" had stopped her in her tracks. So, she never learned any defences.

"Do you remember this place?" Naru-kun continued. She did. The playground was where they first met, and he'd saved her from the bullies. It was a time that, despite everything that happened in her short life, as an eight-year old, she never wanted to forget.

"Y-Yes," she finally answered. "T-That was e-eight year ago, w-wasn't i-it?" Yes, the stutter was still present, and she _was_ trying to overcome it. Small, dainty steps, remember. She was allowed to blush, and wasn't fainting around him anymore… much.

"That long, huh," Naru-kun, mumbled, eyes slightly glazing over in reminiscence. Well, Hinata considered it an achievement for him to even remember the moment had taken place. He was rather forgetful, having a penchant for not remembering things that didn't really matter to him. She'd let him off this time.

Suddenly, he grinned down at her, in a way that made her feel a sense of déjà vu. "Her eyes are pretty!" he cried out in the same high-pitched tone as when they were eight. "I see purple and I really like it!"  
"N-N-Naru-kun!" Hinata was extremely embarrassed at the all-too-accurate recital, even when her boyfriend admitted, "But it's the truth!" and stuck his tongue out. **(5) **However, a rare and very recently unearthed burst of courage gave her the ability to retort. "Did you ever find out what cooties were?"

"No," Naru-kun grumbled reluctantly, pouting. "Ojiisan took me out for ramen, and I forgot to ask him. Sneaky old man!"

Hinata inwardly swallowed at the immediately thought that sprang to mind. Fortunately, there was still some courage left, which enabled her to fix Naru-kun with an endearing grin and whisper, "Would you still like to know?"

He either got the slightly suggestive hint, or still wanted to find out so he wouldn't be left in the loop (or laughed at). Whatever the reason, Hinata didn't care. As soon as Naru-kun nodded, she pulled him down by his spiky blonde hair and drew him into a kiss.

* * *

_What? Cooties are evolving!…_

_Cooties evolved into Hormones!_

**Secondary Ending  
**

* * *

**Mashu: **"Cynic!" 

**Lord Cynic: **"Heh, heh, couldn't resist. The last two lines were added by me, because I can. But shush about the Pokemon reference."

* * *

_**References**_

**(1)**_Excerpt from Lord Cynic's Fictionary – _If you seriously think this is an actual product, Cynic would stab you with a toothpick. Just making that clear.

**(2) **_Eight-year old_ – Sounded like a good age to use for a flashback like this.

**(3)**_ Hinata looked up to see two smirking, older boys – _Yeah, obviously original characters. I couldn't be bothered giving them names, either. Whatever.

**(4)**_ when her mother was alive and well. _– Well, she's either unwell, or she's dead. Couldn't be bothered deciding/remembering. Sorry.

**(5)**_ even when her boyfriend admitted, "But it's the truth!" and stuck his tongue out. _– Kare Kano (His and her circumstances) reference. Episode 2. I really, really like the anime.


End file.
